


I Love You, Son

by HQ_Wingster



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Father's Day, Father-Son Relationship, Forgiveness, Gen, Memories, Out of Character, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Sad with a Happy Ending, Single Parents, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-14 22:22:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11217447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HQ_Wingster/pseuds/HQ_Wingster
Summary: [Father's Day fic]Father's Day was just another day in the Asano residence. Just a day where the house seemed quieter, calmer, and perhaps a little warmer. Gakushuu doesn't know how he feels towards his father. These feelings and pent-up emotions are just...He doesn't know what to say to the man right now, but he can't deny that things are getting better between them.





	I Love You, Son

**Author's Note:**

> Was inspired by Buzzfeed's Father's Day videos. After watching the video where the Try Guys shaved their dads and each son and father talked about the past and reconciled over past mistakes. It got really emotional towards the end, made me cry.
> 
> I don't typically write fics for special occasions, but this was an idea that I strongly wanted to do. After watching that Try Guys video, I wanted to write something somewhat similar. I'm not much of an emotional writer, so here it goes!

    Father’s Day was a day entirely made to honor fathers, grandfathers, fatherly-figures that one looked up to, to expecting-fathers, and to the fathers who used to be fathers. But when you strip away those colorful words and look behind the title, one could see a deeper appreciation for the day. A deeper meaning that went beyond being this superhero in the family, or being the strong arms that carried children and a spouse up and down the house. Behind the day’s name, there was a connection that was often overlooked in the family dynamic. A connection that most saw, but never realized that it was there. And if someone could fit the family dynamic onto a tree, the father and son relationship-- _more often than not--_ tended to be the weakest bond, the frailest root.

    Not that Gakushuu ever did such a thing but if something was damaging the tree, wasn’t it wiser to snip it off? That was why pruning was such a crucial step in maintaining healthy trees. One could cut away a part that never did belong to preserve what truly had to be there. For a long time, Gakushuu viewed his relationship with his father as such. The family tree wasn’t very strong or healthy to begin with, but Gakushuu grew up noticing how much of a parasite his father was. Like a weed suddenly taking over a sapling, slowly choking it to death. Making the sapling a former shadow of what it could’ve been.

    Did Gakushuu blame his father for the person he was today? If it wasn’t for his father, Gakushuu wouldn't have been the strong, independent leader that Kunugigaoka Academy recognized him as. The boy could’ve been...Well, it was too late to turn back time to fix former mistakes. However, with enough effort and cooperation, it wasn’t too late to improve from them and start over again. After the final exams that followed into the spring, Gakushuu could honestly say that his relationship with his father has changed. For the better. It felt different. His father hadn’t changed much of anything. His schedule was still the same every single day, but his father carried himself differently.

    There wasn’t that haughty impression that cloaked over the house. It didn’t feel like there was a pet and a corporate slave living in the same residence. No, it felt like a father and a son awkwardly trying to reach out to each other. After all these months since then, that was as much as Gakushuu could admit about the matter. Emotionally, he and his father were more manipulative towards each other than loving. So to try to reach out like this, to be the people they _could’ve_ been, it was odd. It felt weird. It was like trying to admit feelings and talking about the past. Something that both males weren’t comfortable with. But if they left this uneasiness unsettled for too long, it wouldn’t take long before the relationship was back to what it used to be.

    Gakushuu twiddled his thumbs. Biting his thumbnail when he saw what today was. _Father’s Day._ A day for a very awkward son to reach out to his equally-awkward father. A day where both of them had to let their guard down. For resilient leaders in their own walks of life, to let their guard down was probably going to be the hardest thing to do today. Gakushuu was well-aware of that. He had nothing to give to his father. His father could easily buy whatever he wanted, no strings attached. But in a materialistic world like this, the most valuable thing Gakushuu could offer was himself. Not auction himself as a corporate slave or dog, but present himself as a son. As a family member.

    Cracking his knuckles, Gakushuu stood awkwardly outside his father’s office at home. A looming door stared the boy down, but Gakushuu grew up with this door and he knew exactly how to make it submit. But today, he wasn’t an adversary for his father to win against. Today, Gakushuu was his father’s son. So today, Gakushuu knocked on the door. Three loud but timid knocks. A pause after each one, and Gakushuu took a step back. Hands behind his back, holding onto each other for dear life.

    There was a stir on the other side of the door. His father opened and peeked his head out. Pleasantly surprised that Gakushuu was the one knocking.

    “Good morning.”

    “As to you,” Gakushuu replied back, bowing his head along with the saying. “May I come in?”

    “By all means.” His father opened the door wider, and Gakushuu strolled in. The soft click of the door when it closed, and Asano Gakuho took a seat behind his desk. His son took a seat in front of him. Both males staring at each other momentarily. Asano briefly glanced over at his computer, muttering that he had some papers to finish. Gakushuu nodded curtly, twiddling his thumbs back and forth. Glancing around his father’s office. There were a few cups of ramen stacked neatly in the trashcan. Glossy book covers snuggled on the library shelves.

    How many years has it been since Gakushuu was last in here? Ten years? High possibility. The last time Gakushuu was in this office, he genuinely cherished his father. Little Gakushuu spun around in his father’s office chair, typing absurd words over the keyboard and giggling at the strings of gibberish on Microsoft Word. And then, his father came into the memory and lifted little Gakushuu up, balancing his son over on his knee as he read what the little boy typed. Ruffled his son’s hair and told him that he was a good kid.

    That was a decade ago, and Gakushuu couldn’t believe that he remembered that. Did his father remember that too? It was too awkward to ask, and Gakushuu couldn’t see how he was going to initiate that conversation. His father would grow suspicious, and suspicion was not what Gakushuu wanted. Just a moment to talk. About anything. It could be about the most vague and mundane thing in the world but if the talk was with his father, that was what mattered. That mattered to Gakushuu, and why was he sweating? _Relax_ . Things shouldn’t be _this...awkward._

“Today is Father’s Day.”

Okay, so his father was going to start.

“Indeed and I wanted to spend the day with you.” Was that too direct? Jeez, Gakushuu should’ve consulted Ren about this. The taller male knew just what to say, and Gakushuu wished he could’ve planned this out better.

His father dipped his seat back. “I remember you came into this office once as a little boy. Ran up and sat in this exact same seat and typed interesting things onto my computer.”

“What brought that up?” Gakushuu raised an eyebrow.

“Well, my son so rarely sees me at home and now that he’s here, I cannot help but stroll down Memory Lane.”

“Okay.” Tense, Gakushuu glanced around the office again. Noticing a very old picture frame behind his father. It was a picture of his father when he was younger. He was on a hammock in some grassy place under a tree because of the shade. His father was probably gazing up to the clouds, judging by the angle. A thin, closed-mouth smile over his lips. That one detail mesmerized Gakushuu. He had never seen such an innocent smile over his father’s face before. It wasn’t like the smirks or stressed impressions that Gakushuu grew to resent. No, this smile was genuine, pure, and so happy that it took Gakushuu off-guard.

His father turned around and noticed the picture too.

“How old were you when that photo was taken?”

His father sighed, running a hand through his thinning hair. “I believe I was in my twenties. Quite some time ago.”

“Where were you?”

“I was living in my hometown. It was in the mountains and the only place where the grass truly grew green was near the base of said mountains. Lovely trees shaded the spot, and a few companions and I strung up hammocks and admired the sky. Recent graduates, we were. It was just something to take our minds off of being adults.”

Gakushuu had never seen his father lick his lips this much before. During a long speech, it was certain that the lips had to be licked to keep them moist for the next paragraph of words that had to be said. But in this short time-frame and with just a few sentences, his father was licking his lips out of habit. As a coping method as his walls slowly crumbled before his feet.

“What were you thinking about, Father?”

“Most likely about my future as a teacher _and_ as a parent.”

 _“And?”_ Gakushuu raised his eyebrow again.

“I always wanted to be a father.” The heavy nail in the conversation finally presented itself. Gakushuu sat still, trying to process what his father had just told him. “I thought to myself: _If I’m going to be the best teacher I could possibly be, I want my first student to be my child.”_

“That’s something you did kind of right,” Gakushuu mumbled. “I don’t approve of how you taught me as I got older but while still young, I did have fond memories of you teaching me things.”

“Gakushuu,” his father leaned across the office desk. “Are you crying?”

Gakushuu’s eyelids fluttered. He bit the inside of his cheeks. _“No, are you?”_

His father eased back into his seat. “What if I told you that I am?”

Gakushuu jerked his head up. Sure enough, his father’s eyes were watering and that made Gakushuu’s own eyes burn. What was happening to them? Why were they crying like this? No, Gakushuu refused to admit that he was crying. He wasn’t a little kid anymore. He was a young adult with a future ahead of him so damn it, why were the tears coming now?

“Your mother and I had some difficulties.” The words stumbled out from his father’s lips, as if they weren’t supposed to be said in the first place. “It was very hard for us to have a child.”

Was this going to be the cliche where Gakushuu found out that he was adopted? Please, this was reality and Gakushuu knew damn well of who his parents were. The boy just tightened his fists as his father continued the story, mentioning the bitter defeat that sank in when it felt like nothing was working. When it felt like Fate didn’t want the couple to have a child. A little baby to hold within their arms.

 _“Just drop it,”_ Gakushuu mumbled. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do, so just drop it.” He squeezed the armrest of his seat. “Mother died when she had me. I...I know it’s hard for you to talk about it, so d-don’t force yourself.” Gakushuu cursed under his breath, wondering why he was cracking now. His voice had failed him. It finally did, and now the boy had nothing to say. This was a bad idea. He was so naive to think that this was a good idea in the first place.

“If you think I’m forcing myself to say any of this, then you never really knew me at all,” his father finally said. Those words grounded Gakushuu to reality. “Your mother’s death was very painful to me. That stands true to this day.” Words were stumbling out from his mouth. This wasn’t like the usual formula that his father used when delegating deals between adults or students. This was his _real_ father speaking, _the real Asano Gakuho._ “When she died that evening after having you, I didn’t think I could smile again. I didn’t know if I could be happy, or be the man I used to be.”

For the very first time, Gakushuu saw his father cry. Gentle tears ran down the man’s face. His father was blinking and sighing so much. It had to be difficult to say any of this, but his father didn’t give up. He pressed on because _that_ was the man he was.

“But when I held you in my arms for the first time, and I felt your tiny hand and you felt my hand. Something inside of me clicked, and I felt happy again. I knew it would be hard to raise you on my own. I was scared that you would be my perfect copy, but you developed into your own person. _Your own man._ I’m very proud of you, son.”

Both father and son were in tears. Gakushuu didn’t know what to say. His father never talked about this so to hear it for the first time, to hear the raw version for the first time ached Gakushuu’s heart. He never imagined that his father would be _this_ kind of person.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Gakushuu rubbed his feet together. “You didn’t have to bear this burden all on your own. You could’ve told me, and we could’ve been at mother’s grave. Together on Mother’s Day.”

“I’ve lost people that I cherished,” his father began. “Good people. To make sure that I didn’t lose you too, I trained you to be stronger. To be strong enough to get through anything that was in your way. I’ve realized my mistake in doing so.” His father bowed his head low. “I’m sorry, son. I hope you can forgive me.”

“What do we do now?”

“I think we can start spending this Father’s Day better than just sitting here and crying about the past. Don’t you think?”

Gakushuu nodded. His father stood up, opened the door, and waited for his son so that they could walk out together. And for a tiny moment, Gakushuu thought that he heard his father say: _I love you, son._


End file.
